The scene: My room/office/room. The lights aren’t on because we rarely turn on the over head lights. I’ve got my headphones on and I’m listening to Groovera’s “Low Mercury” station. I read somewhere, I think it was on Lifehacker, that people tend to listen to downtempo music to get work done. I’m hoping it helps/inspires me to get through this because our blog, is no uncertain terms, is the suck when it comes to, well, being a blog. We rarely write in it. I really want that to change. So here I am with hopefully the beginning of what I hope to be more frequent posts.
It’s been an interesting/crazy/annoying couple of weeks for me. I’m going to bullet point these things so I hope that’s ok with you. If not… *shrugs*.
- Merry Christmas & Happy 2010.
Forget the year, where did the decade go? I’m not quite sure of it but it seems to me that the older I get, the faster time seems to be rolling by. My oldest will be 8 this year. My marriage will be 10. I remember a time when I didn’t have either. I also remember not ever being this happy with my life. Outside of the weight gain.
- Dave moves in
My brother Dave moved into our house. Happy to have him here. Our office is now, once again, in our bedroom. I miss the division of “work” and “home” spaces but knowing that Dave is here with me far outweighs that comfort. Although getting ready for him to be here was and (as you’ll see) continues to be painful.
- Ouch, I hurt my old
So, in order to get Dave here, we had to move a lot of stuff around. The desk in our office, which was just a long table that Carla and I shared, wouldn’t work in here so we now have two separate desks. This is a good thing because now we have our own spaces and we don’t harsh each other’s work flow. That is unless Carla’s trying to get my attention and I have my headphones on. We sit with our backs to one another so I don’t always see her trying to talk to me. She loves this. And by love I mean hate. We also had to move some furniture around to accommodate Dave’s sofa. So the sectional is now in the family room and the love seat is now in the living room with another love seat and Dave’s couch. None of which match the other. Stylish! All of this is my long winded way of saying I’ve been in pain since the morning of the 26th (did I mention we did all of the furniture moving on the night of the 25th? No? Well, I just did.) because I hurt my back moving all of that stuff. This wasn’t a normal hurt back though because I’ve had that before (I’ve moved lots of heavy things that in turn have hurt me, chief among them: my stomach) and this pain is different because it is only limited to my lower left back. This is not what normally happens to me. And the pain when it came/comes, shoots down my left leg. Bonus! Since it usually goes away after a few days, I didn’t think anything of it. Just dealt with it the only way I knew how: move slow, add heat, curse profusely when the pain comes. But it didn’t go away. That’s when I called the Doctor.
- Doctor Happy Pills
I’m staring out the window of the second floor room where I wait for my Doctor to come in and tell me that I need to lose weight. There’s a man made body of water outside. I notice that there’s a bunch of dead fish in there and I quietly wonder who’s job it is to take those out. The doc comes in, asks me what’s wrong, takes some notes when I tell him, gives me an order to go get some x-rays taken and prescription for some pain killers. While I am happy that at least something will help me take the pain away (the over-the-counter stuff — Advil, Motrin, Aleve — was just not doing it) I also wished that I would have had a better idea as to what was going on. As I leave, I notice a man standing next to the lake thing with a net cleaning out the ex-fish. Much like my appointment’s outcome, I guess I was hoping for something a little more elaborate. Fun fact: He never said I needed to lose weight. I later ate two snickers bars while drinking a soda. Doctor’s (non) orders!
- Underwear choice comes into play
After my doctor’s appointment, I pick up the prescriptions and head down to where I’m to get my x rays taken. It’s not too far from home so I take the surface streets. I hate looking for places when I’ve never been there before but I always like going in them (unless they look spooky). Side Note: I like going in these places because if I didn’t have to I probably wouldn’t ever. This feeds into my fascination with the fact that there’s probably millions of buildings that I will never enter in my lifetime but, for other people, these same buildings might be a large part of their lives. I know that I’m essentially saying that I’m amazed that there’s a whole world going on out there but what I’m trying to say is that it’s the size of it that boggles my mind. There’s a lot of people and a lot of buildings out there. A lot of worlds I’m *not* involved in. Fascinating. I’m probably not explaining it as well as I could but it’s late and I’ve already taken the muscle relaxer mentioned in the above bullet point. Whee! end note After some time my name is finally called and I’m taken to the dressing area by a female… nurse? Not sure what to call her. Technician? Anywho, we get to the male dressing area where she tells me “Those pants need to come off” (cue bow-chikka-bow-bow). This statement is then followed by “Keep your underwear on” and “You’ll need to put on this gown with the back open and if you don’t feel covered enough you can put on this second one.” (kill the music). It’s at this point that I remember I’m wearing my Big Dog Las Vegas print boxer shorts. I could have gone with a solid color but no, I chose Vegas and once again, Vegas finds a way to screw me. *sigh* Later, when I’m with the x ray tech, I’m asked to lay down on a table where I’m sure she catches a glimpse of my poorly chosen underthings but she’s too much of a professional to mention it. Upon later reflection she may have just been glad that I had them on at all.
- Football sucks. Again.
Still a little painful to think about but, the Cards didn’t make it to the Super Bowl. Al Davis has yet to shuffle off this mortal coil so conversely, the Raiders were the suck this year — AGAIN. I was close in my fantasy draft but, once again, no cigar. Re: Fantasy — I wonder when I’m going to learn my lesson almost as much as I wonder how long until the next draft. It’s a sickness.
So what’s the takeaway from all this? I would have to say that it comes down to a few things.
1. If you have to move furniture, don’t. If that’s unavoidable, get help.
2. Doctors occasionally say helpful things. Sometimes they don’t.
3. Porn situations very rarely happen in life. Also: It seems there’s no situation (outside of a funeral) that couldn’t be helped with a little background bow-chikka-bow-bow.
That is all. Cue the music.
John Whatever
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