The One Hundred

Yes, this picture is awesome. Let’s review:

– Howie Long, a force of nature on the field, phasers for sure set on “Sack the crap out of”.

– John Elway, a good field general, reduced to looking somewhat like a cross between a deer caught in the headlights and nothing.

– while he wasn’t sacked, it was on the third down and they were forced to punt.

– Final score: Raiders 16, Broncos 13.

But there’s a back story for me that makes it even infinitely more awesome.

I’m a Raiders fan. (sorry.) I stick with my team even though it’s been a few of years of hopelessness and looks like at least a few more years of despair. But we do what we can. We remember the good ol’ days and know (hope) that they will be back again… someday.

Jon, my co-conspirator on this blog, is a Denver fan. An honest to goodness, grow old and someday become the naked guy in the bucket Denver fan. So much so that even when they were in the Super Bowl against the 49ers (Joe Montana’s 49ers) he still believed they would win.

My favorite player? Howie Long.

His favorite player? John Elway.

See where this is going?

During high school, every time the teams met we knew that not only was the team record at stake, but the possibility of being razzed for at least an entire day was coming for one us.

Going in to the weekend of this particular game, I remember telling Jon that the Raiders were absolutely going to win and that I was going to pray to the Howie Long shrine in my room that he would sack Elway. Jon said he was going to consult his Elway shrine for more positive, Denver-centric results.

Well, lo and behold, the Raiders won and when Monday rolled around, here was this picture, staring out from the sports section of the Brawley News.

And it was glorious.

I immediately called Jon.

“Hey!”

“Hey.”

“So, uh, did you get the Brawley News today?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. We don’t get the Brawley News.”

I wasn’t expecting that answer.

“Really? Why not? Everyone gets the Brawley News.”

“Cause we don’t want to see pictures of Howie Long sacking John Elway!”

Ah, it was good times. Even better when I cut out the picture and brought it to school with me everyday that week. I must’ve retold the above story hundreds of times during that week and it was great.

I think by Friday, if Jon could’ve had five minutes with that picture, he would’ve burned it and then pissed on the ashes — and then set fire to the ashes. But he took it all in stride and he somehow managed not to choke the crap out of me.

So this picture means more than just that game or just that one play. In some weird way, to me it has become kind of a symbol of our friendship. It is also probably why we both want this really badly.

I’ve always tried to take care of this picture and I’ve packed it away and moved it so many times throughout the years that when it finally popped up again when we were packing things to move to Arizona, I knew I had to put it online.

Now I will always know where it is and time can’t touch it anymore. It will last forever — and I hope my friendship with Jon lasts just as long.

Most Awesomest

Ok, I know they’re like a million years old (in internet time) but these things never fail to make me giggle like a little schoolgirl. One of the best things about them is that whenever I read them again, there’s always one that I haven’t read yet and that makes the trip all worth it again. Like this one:

or this one:

But I think none of them make me laugh as much as this one:

The sheer absurdity of it — coupled with the mental image it conjours of Chuck sitting at the final table of the ‘83 WSoP with those cards, 2 of which would clearly not be regular playing cards… oh, it actually brings tears to my eyes.

And like a lot of things on the internet do, the facts have taken on a life of their own. You can check the wiki about it or you can visit this website and actually get a t-shirt made with a fact of your choice printed on it.

It also seems that, while he’s dismissed the facts as “cute” before, I’m thinking that some of it is still going to his head. Just a little.

But I’d never tell him that… lest I meet my end due to a roundhouse kick to the face.

Most Awesomest