Duane’s Log: *Breaking News*
February 22nd, 2008
Ladies and Gentlemen: I, Duane, have just exclusively learned that Rachel Cooke is “on the juice”. You heard it here first, folks! We are still awaiting word on how this will affect tonight’s match. Yeah! I scooped you ESPN! In your face! In your f’n face! Who’s “unemployable” now?
Wait…we have more information coming in…uh huh…uh huh…is that so?
Ok, it turns out she was in fact “drinking juice”, apple juice to be exact.
And eating pancakes. Although it looks like her pancakes may have been spiked with some sort of performance enhancing drugs. What? No, just blueberries.
Alright then, it appears that the crisis has been averted. This is Duane signing off…
