The One Hundred

Aloha! Duane here with your NFL Draft coverage. Today we have been lucky enough to have been invited into the inner sanctuary of NFL legend Al Davis as he prepares for this years draft. No one else has been allowed this kind of exclusive access. Ooh…here he comes now…hello Mr.. Davis.

Al Davis: Hello…Hello..

Duane: Let me get right into it – the last five years have not been kind to the Raiders – you have not won more than five games in a season over that time period -ESPN has called you awful, Sports Illustrated has called you terrible, The Christian Science Monitor said you suck big sweaty donkey ba…

Davis: OK…OK. What is your question?

Duane: Well, how do you, the man who coined the term “Just Win, Baby” plan on turning this team around and just winning, baby?

Davis: Well, first of all, let me clear up a common misconception. It is actually “Just Win Baby!” See, once in 1969 Hank Stram and I were loaded on PCP and he bet me a baby that we couldn’t beat him in the game that afternoon. So, I am running up and down the sidelines, high as a kite, screaming “just win baby, just win baby” and the team really seemed to respond, so the slogan just kind of stuck.

Duane: You mean you wagered a real baby…like an infant?

Davis: Sure, we did that all the time back in the day. I don’t think he ever paid up though…I’m still waiting for that baby, Hank!

Duane: Sir, I think Hank Stram died like 3 years ago….

Davis: Bah! Excuses! I have technically been dead since 1998, but that doesn’t stop me…Lanie, go rustle me up a baby…they have pure souls…mmmmmm

Duane: Well..moving on…You have the #4 pick in this years NFL Draft. A lot of the experts are predicting you will take Arkansas running back Darren McFadden at that spot. Paired with last years #1 pick Jamarcus Russell you could have a potentially game changing duo for many years to come…

Davis: Yeah, well, I didn’t end up with a closet full of leather jumpsuits and old lady glasses by listening to the “so called” experts. I go from the gut…it’s called instinct, kid. I don’t always do the safe thing or the right thing or the smart thing or the logical thing or the right thing or the smart thing or…

Duane: Well, do you think you could share with our readers what you intend to do…

Davis: When every other team is loading up on quarterbacks and wide receivers and linebackers, I am going to concentrate all my efforts on the two most important, and underrated, words in all of pro football..would you like to know what they are?

Duane: Um ok….

Davis: Punting.

Duane: Punting?

Davis: Punting.

Duane: I think that is only one wor…

Davis: See, if I draft all the punters, I can pin the other teams down deep in their territory and since they don’t have good punters I get the ball back in good field position. It is genius in it’s simplicity…tee hee…tee hee hee…tee ha tee ha…

Duane: Yes, but honestly, sir, it is not like punting is that hard compared to passing or receiving…

Davis: You think you can do it?

Duane: Well, maybe…

Davis: Huh…you think you’re a big shot…let me see you punt…Lanie, I will take that baby out on the lanai and could you bring me my outdoor skin please…

Three Days Later…

Duane, Intrepid Sports Reporter, Whatever

*My Top 10 Most Memorable Moviegoing Experiences – Part 1, Part 2

I was thinking about movies, as I normally would on the days that it’s my turn to write on Tuesdays (or really, any day that ends in “y”), and I remembered seeing a poster and reading a blurb about… well, here. Let me just show you:

I know, right? Starring Jenna Jameson no less. Now I was about to go on a rant about how this is crap (and it might be) and how do these people get to make movies (I still don’t know) but then something hit me — who cares? The people that want to go see it, will go see it. The people that don’t, won’t. For some, going to see this movie will be a blast and even if it is bad, they will revel in it and good times will be had by all. End of story.

But as I looked at the poster, it reminded me (probably not unintentionally) of another little movie called “Grindhouse”. I’ve only seen the whole thing once, while it was in the theater (yes, I was one of the handful that actually saw it in the theater) and we had a great time – which led me to lament that I didn’t put it on my original list of movie going experiences. I’m not sure if this was an honorable mention (which it could be because “Death Proof” wasn’t as awesome as I wanted it to be, but maybe I need to see it again) or if it actually cracks the top 10 (cause overall, it was an awesome day and “Planet Terror” was equally awesome). So here’s the entry that should’ve been:

Grindhouse – I’d been waiting for this movie ever since I read about it many months before. Two well known directors, coming together to bring back the double feature and give the audience twice the bang for thier buck. But what really captured my imagination was the idea that between the movies, were going to be trailers for movies that didn’t exist made by other well known directors. How awesome is that? Plus it opened the day before my birthday and I spent most of my birthday day hanging out with two of my best friends in our old stomping grounds, Westwood. As I was walking around with Jon prior to the movie, he mentioned to me that when we first moved there (circa 1992) the freshman class (at the time) at UCLA was 3. My footsteps never felt heavier than when he mentioned that. But it just reminded me that we had been through a lot including lots of time. So it was kind of bittersweet being there, all three of us (Hello Matt!) perhaps for the last time but what a way to go out. I recommend seeing the movie (at the very least Planet Terror) – and I pray that one day they release the whole thing on DVD as it is meant to be, not split up, because for what it’s worth, they gave us an awesome ride, one that I might not ever forget.

Even though I forgot to put it on the list in the first place. The irony does not escape me.

Also, I can’t leave without posting this (possibly not safe for work, or lunch):

Theater Bending time to my will, movies, YouTube kind of saves the day but not really

Not much to write today – so here is a song for the end of your working day

Music

Danny Federici, the keyboard player for Bruce Springsteen for over 40 years, passed away yesterday after a battle with cancer. To celebrate his life and music I am putting up a couple clips – the first is from 2007, one of his last shows with the band, which is kind of heartbreaking in hindsight and the second is a classic from 1975.

Music

Few people actually know that the earliest television shows were actually broadcast in the 1920’s. The technology was still in the infant stages and shows looked remarkably like the silent movies of the day. Due to the prohibitive cost, very few shows were actually produced and America would have to wait a few more years before television truly came into its own. However, we here at The One Hundred have been lucky enough to get our hands on a couple of extremely rare shows from 1920 and, as you can see, television back then, much like today, tackled the serious social issues of the day. Enjoy…

T.V.