Pulling from the Notebook: CPAP
I have this notebook. I write things in it. Here’s one of those things.
I didn’t sleep well at all the other night. I stayed up way too late playing Bioshock 2. I was so immersed in my role of the prototype “Big Daddy” (google it) that the dreams I had later blurred the lines of reality and served to freak me out further. I couldn’t tell what was real any more and a lot of it had to do with my mask. About a year ago, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and before they gave me my machine, I had to choose a mask.
“So which one do you want to try?”
I looked at the disembodied mannequin heads that were modeling my choices. I picked the one that I had used in my sleep test some months prior and she got it down for me.
“This one is pretty popular,” she said as I tried it on, “but some people find it a little claustrophobic.”
*Click*
Suddenly, this little piece of plastic that was just big enough to accommodate my nose became stifling. Never underestimate the power of suggestion.
—
The first time I heard the term CPAP was when my friend Andy was diagnosed with sleep apnea.
“So what does it do?”
Andy explained that it basically shot air pressure through your nose in order to keep your airways open so you can breathe while you sleep. “But, it’s kind of weird to open your mouth and have air shoot out of it.”
“We should put a ping pong ball there and see if it hovers!”
“Very funny.”
—
I can’t remember when it started but what I do know is that I was becoming more and more tired and I didn’t know why. I would nod off at my computer in the middle of the afternoon – powerless against the waves of sleep coming over me, unable to keep my eyes open. The nights weren’t much better. I remember most of them simply because it didn’t feel like I was sleeping through them. I know I was sleeping but whenever I awoke (multiple times through the night) I was wide awake every single time — as if I hadn’t gone to sleep in the first place. Carla had mentioned before that I snored (I have to take her word for it as I’m always asleep when this happens) but that now it was getting progressively worse and that something else was happening too.
I wasn’t breathing.
—
Now, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ve already figured out that the “not breathing” thing was only temporary. I got over it. What we also figured out was that it was happening all night long. The pattern was as follows: breathing, not breathing, struggling for air, breathing again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. All of this was happening while I was asleep.
I found out later that not treating this could lead to heart damage and possibly a stroke. This is what may have helped end Reggie White’s life and he was in much better shape that I am and possibly ever will be. It was time to see a doctor and get this taken care of.
Seeing the doctor led to a sleep test (which is a poorly named test as I don’t remember sleeping much at all — ‘A’ for effort?). This led me to being diagnosed with sleep apnea. And that’s why I was trying on masks.
“You know, now that you mention it, it does seem a little constricting. Can I try the one on the end?”
I debated asking which one the ladies would find more attractive but I eventually decided that this would amuse only me and so I chose not to subject her to my “humor”.
“This is a newer one and people seem to like it because they don’t have all this plastic all over their face. It does shoot the air straight up your nose though.”
This gave me pause. Did I really want this? It didn’t sound very comfortable or pleasing. In the end though, it was a good fit and it was the model I chose.
“Nasal pillows it is.”
Nasal pillows. I have to admit that I was hoping for something a little more manly like “Air Blaster 3000″ but I guess anything that comes with a built-in humidifier is already fighting an uphill battle.
As she walked me through how to operate the machine, my immediate and foreseeable future dawned on me: I am now attached to this machine. This is now a part of my life.
“Break out the ping pong balls,” I muttered to myself.
“What was that?”
“Oh, nothing.”
