The One Hundred

Yeah, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Just to refresh your memory I’m blue, Jon’s red. Hopefully this is a sign of more writing to come. Enjoy it while it lasts.

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?

Right here. Doing work. Wishing I wasn’t.

Eating pizza in Santa Monica

2. Last person’s house you were in?

Aunt Janet’s in Downey. Right before the cruise.

Probably sister-in-laws house for a birthday party

3. Name 4 things you always have with you:

Head, arms, legs, feet — beaty beat beat beaty beat clap clap!

Car keys, house keys, cell phone, wallet

4. What do you do most when you’re bored?

I guess try to stop… being bored? Video games, read, or if the kids allow it, sleep.

I wish I had time to be bored!

5. Last time you swam in a pool?

My brother had us all over to his boss’ house (huge house) over the fourth of july weekend. He had a nice pool and we all had a grand time. We bbq’ed too. Awesome.

I don’t know – may have been three years ago in Vegas

6. Ever made a prank phone call?

I think I tried once. I with a friend of my brother’s and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but when you live in a predominantly mexican area, chances of you dialing up someone who speaks only spanish are pretty good. Add to that an inability to actually speak spanish pretty much renders the prank call moot — so really now, you’re just bothering someone with an attempt at humor. And that’s just sad. We stopped after one try.

Not that I can recall

7. Who tells the best jokes?

I have a bunch of favorite comedians but, the guy who almost always gets me laughing until my stomach hurts and I’m crying and I have trouble breathing is Matt. “Groucho Marx! Ow… my… Burt Reynolds!” I guess you had to be there (although Mabel was there and she never thought it was as funny as we did).

I have always been partial to Brian Regan

8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

I’ve had an admirer, she wasn’t really secret about it either — but nothing ever came from it as I was otherwise involved at the time.

Yes, Doug Dyer

9. What’s your favorite fruity scent?

Lemon.

Watermelon

10. Have you ever been to a gay bar?

I have. With Jon. We were there to sign Mabel up to a softball league – After walking through the dance room (which was already going at full steam with music and lights and everything – even though it was only three or four in the afternoon and no one was in it) I felt myself tense up and I immediately started hitting Jon in a very guy type way. I wasn’t really aware of it until later when I recounted the events to my then girlfriend who found it very funny – accurately summing up the act as me stating “I’m a man!” for no one else’s benefit but my own. Good times.

More times than i can remember

Do you think you got what it takes to face us in the lightning round?

Do you have an abundance of burning/random/personal questions that you need answered by your favorite bloggers — or by us, if they aren’t available?

Send them in

and you may have your questions answered on… The Lightning Round!

FQotD Lightning Round, We're back!

This week we turn the tables on you loyal reader, it’s your turn in… The Lightning Round! Leave your answers in the comments!

1. Were you an honor roll student in school?

2. Do you collect anything?

3. Have you ever been camping?

4. What is one thing that annoys you?

5. What do you call those little plastic things on the ends of shoelaces?

6. Who’s the black private dick that gets all the chicks?

7. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

8. Would you give me $5?

9. What’s your name spelled backwards?

10. Who is your longest friend and how long? (Ed. Note: This is how the question was worded when I found it online. I’m sure this could be taken a few different ways, but for the sake of this blog, let’s just go with penis size length of time you’ve known this person.)

FQotD Lightning Round, Oddly worded questions, TMI

Jon is out today and John is tired so we asked our old friend, Uncle Bob to sit in and answer some questions for us.

1. What do you want to know about the future?

Your sister sees the future – One More Cup of Coffee (Desire – 1976)

2. Do you like hot sauce?

And a dirty hot dog! – On the Road Again (Bringing It all Back Home – 1965)

3. Do you like tongue twisters?

They can be a terror to your mind and show you how to hold your tongue – Foot of Pride (Bootleg Series – 1991)

4. Is it Pet’s Mart or Pet Smart?

Pretending that you’re (Pet) smart. – Dead Man, Dead Man (Shot of Love – 1981)

5. What is something you wish you were better at?

Now I wish I could give Brother Bill his great thrill – Tombstone Blues (Highway 61 Revisited – 1965)

6. Would you dress as the opposite sex?

Ain’t no shortcuts, gonna dress in drag – Things Have Changed

7. Coke or Pepsi?

Let me drink from the waters where the mountain streams flood – Let Me Die in my Footsteps (Bootleg Series – 1991)

8. Would you run from the police?

No, not even the Chief of Police – Man of Peace (Infidels – 1983)

9. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?

Licks my face and tickles my ear – I Shall Be Free (The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan – 1963)

10. Would you be my friend?

All I really want to do is, baby, be friends with you – All I Really Want to Do (Another Side of Bob Dylan – 1964)

Thanks Unca Bob. This may be the last time you see this blog.

FQotD Babe, Bob Dylan, Lightning Round, Speaking in lyrics

Have you ever eaten a crayon?

Not that I can recall… Dirt, yes. Crayon, no.

I don’t think so…I don’t know of any stories of me eating anything out of the ordinary.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Hot tea right now. Last night it was a mojito.

I wish I could say a vanilla latte because I am dying for one right now, but it would have to be a glass of orange juice last night.

When is the last time you ran?

I can’t give you a date but I can almost assuredly tell you that it was recently and it was because of Aaron. 2 year olds are fun. If he’s not running around willy nilly in an active parking lot, he’s either climbing on something that will hurt him if he falls or getting into something that he shouldn’t get into. Keep your eyes on him at all times…

I think I might still be running from the time that dog jumped out at us when we were walking back from lunch in high school. It is like in the cartoons when they run so fast that they leave a dust cloud shaped like them behind – I think I am that dust cloud, the real me is still running somewhere.

Your dream vacation?

Well, I’ve got at least three dreams running simultaneously so here they are: For the family: two weeks at Walt Disney World. For me and the mrs.: cruise to Alaska. Me? I’m simple: Vegas.

Probably either taking a train through Europe or an island somewhere with no one else around

Worst injury you’ve ever had?

I was hit by a car when I was on a scooter and I broke my left leg. Well, I didn’t break it, the car did. Longest day of my life…

I guess I am lucky – I have never broken a bone or had a major injury – nothing but minor scrapes and cuts, although my brother did hit me in the head with a padlock he was swinging on a rope when I was younger. From what I hear it bled quite a bit and I still carry the scar.

Last play you saw?

I saw “The Odd Couple” at the Downey Civic Theater in Downey, CA. My mother in law had free tickets and she gave them to us. It wasn’t our first choice of things to do but it was free, she was watching the kids for us, and so we jumped at the chance to be alone for awhile. It was just as magical as you would imagine it to be. I think I laughed once. But it was still neat to watch and I won’t take anything away from those people because Lord knows I’d be too afraid to do it.

I honestly don’t remember the last play I went to…I am so uncultured

Do you miss anyone right now?

Outside of all my friends and family that I don’t get to see that often, I’d have to say that the person I miss the most right now is Alexis.

I miss my baby girl because today was the first time in a long while that she cried and got all clingy when I dropped her off at daycare, normally she is like “see ya, Pops…got things to do and people to see” – it made me sad

What are your plans for tonight?

Not working hopefully – staying in tonight I think. Have to wake up early for Ben’s basketball game tomorrow. But if we do anything tonight, it will probably be Rock Band related. Münkeeface rules!

Quality time with the family unit. Whenever anyone asks if I am going out this weekend I just cock my head to the side like a confused dog and say “Go…out? Like outside my house?”. It has been so long…

Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?

I got pulled over for not having tags on my car. Lame.

I have never been pulled over by the police – the streak continues…

Would you be president if you could?

Oh, hell no.

Never ever ever. Never never. Never. Ever.

Do you think you got what it takes to face us in the lightning round?

Do you have an abundance of burning/random/personal questions that you need answered by your favorite bloggers — or us, if they aren’t available?

Send them in and you may have your questions answered on… The Lightning Round!

FQotD Drinking drinks (yes), Eating crayons (no), Lightning Round, President? No thanks., Random Questions

In order to maintain a constant in this ever changing world, and so I don’t have to look up more colors every week, from now on, John is MidnightBlue and Jon is Firebrick. Thanks for your cooperation.

1. Do you own a box of crayons?

No

No, I do not. Though I’ve purchased very many over the last few years, none have been for me.

2. Have you ever seen a dead body?

I was on the Big Blue Bus once and we went past a car accident and there was a body laying in a yard – It was covered by a sheet, though.

I think so. Once. Funeral — like you do. But I try not to make a habit of it. Kind of freaks me out.

3. Do you own any diamonds?

People say I’m crazy; I got diamonds on the soles of my shoes – wait, nope, just rubber

No. Again, the only diamonds that I have purchased, do not belong to me.

4. What was the last thing you purchased?

I bought a Vanilla Latte at Starbucks

Well, I’ll list the last three things: Chinese food lunch. Oil Change for my car. Rock Band.

5. What makes you feel warm and safe?

A pointy stick and plenty of man-fire

Knowing that those I care for are ok. I don’t really care for myself anymore now that I have a wife and two boys. As long as they are ok, I don’t care what happens to me.

6. How often do you remember your dreams?

Depends – most of the time I don’t remember anything, other times it is very vivid – like last night I had a dream where I was on a spaceship and Madonna, Michael Jackson, Debbie Gibson, Pat Benatar, John Mellencamp, Bruce Willis, and a midget were all doing these crazy ‘80’s dances. Bruce Willis and the midget were wearing matching sailor suits. It was weird.

Probably not as much as I’d like.

7. How do you vent your anger?

Dance!

Not sure how to answer this. When I lived in L.A. sometimes I would vent by just yelling in the car when I was in traffic. But I’ve found that since I’ve moved here and I’m working from home, I’m much more relaxed.

8. What is your heritage?

White People

Mexican.

9. Did you ever go to camp?

I went to writing camp for a week – does that count?

We had this thing when I was growing up called Summer Day Camp, which (as you might have guessed) happened during summer, during the day! Went there I think one year. It was neat but it was never the cool “Meatballs” kind of camp that I might have liked to go to. Of course, now that I have children of my own, I don’t know that I would be able to send them away for a whole summer and not freak out the whole time.

10. What is your ringtone?

Vibrate

“Chime” by Orbital.

Do you think you got what it takes to face us in the lightning round?

Do you have an abundance of burning/random/personal questions that you need answered by your favorite bloggers — or us, if they aren’t available?

Send them in and you may have your questions answered on… The Lightning Round!

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We have a winner! Our very first Reader of the Week is

[drumroll]

Sandy!

Her reason was one that could hardly be ignored. Congratulations Sandy! A representative from The One Hundred will be contacting you regarding your interview and the Bag o’ Swag.

Our thanks go out to all the others who entered (Thanks Mabel!).

Be on the lookout for Sandy’s interview and more contests from The One Hundred!

FQotD Dead People, Dreams, Lightning Round, Ringtones